I have no problem sharing the truth about things. Its the truth that can help and set free. My truths do just that. So the question about papas, daddies, dads and so in is ""Why are fathers not present in kids lives? Why do they think its ok to walk out?" Well from my experience I know this; My dad was an a amazing dad. Him and my mom divorced when I was 5 and he picked me up several times a week and took me to movies, to eat, shopping, to the park and so many other things. He called me daily if he wasn't going to make it to pick me up then when I was 11 he remarried and had a new family shortly after he stopped coming to pick me up and visit me. By the time I was 5 I had no relationship with him and when I would see him on the streets ( We come from a small town) He would turn his head like he didn't know me. When I had my son at 21 years of age we had reestablished a relationship again and it was amazing. He was in the room with me and my husband when Devin was born and he came all the time to my house to see him. But once again he began to stop coming around and me and his wife didn't meet eye to eye because she was cruel. Of course he didn't believe that it was always something I did. But you want to know something mine and his relationship was not her fault. What he let happen was only is fault. He allowed her to say mean things, to do mean things and most of all he allowed her to create a wedge between us. It took me years to get over the pain of not having a relationship with my dad. But that does not mean I don't love him, because I do very much love him. I love him from far. I haven't spoken to him in 14 years. But let me also tell you the amazing thing that happened. Javier my husband happened. He comes from a large family. He is an amazing papa! He taught me so much and helped me reprogram my mind when it came to fathers. He woke up at night with all three of ours to feed, change diapers, to walk around the house when they were having fits, he stayed up all night when mijo had his days and nights confused as a newborn (till he was 3 Wahh!) He sang to them,bathed them, but want to know what grabbed my heart and still to this day does? Its the way he looks at them. He stares at them when they don't know it smiling. He loves to talk about them to everyone. He loves that Charlie (our 8 year old) Is completely glorious and royalty but turns gangsta real quick. He loves that Vanna (our 13 year old) is a hippy at heart and never gets our jokes (Were big time cappers in this crew) And he loves that Devin (our 16 year old) has the mind of a comedian and loves working with his hands. He could go on and on about his three. As I write this i cant help but cry. HE truly males me so damn happy. I get to witness first hand what a father should be like. What I didn't have but what for damn sure I knew my children needed to have. I picked a man that I knew would be a great father. We were together 5 years before we had Mijo and Javie catered to my every need, and loved me indefinitely with no boundaries. He held me close and held me even closer when my relationship with my dad fell completely apart. I knew he would be the best papa.
So to answer the question, all fathers are different. But I believe that their are signs of the type of father they can be. The problem is that women can be blind to what is actually in front of them. You see what you want to see. If you want the man you are with to be a great guy no matter what he does he will be. But you keep lying to yourself the kids you have will suffer the consequences. So you have to keep your eyes and mind open to reality and YOUR truth. Cause yes fathers do walk out and chose not to be present in kids lives. But sometimes women bring the adult drama into the kids lives and lets be honest here most men do not have a strong will. So once the women makes it hard for him to see his kids he will say "Ok well when my kids get older Ill tell them everything she did." Its to late by then. we grew up without you and we saw who stayed. So all in all its up to us the adult to make the right choice in who we chose as a partner. Its up to us to see things for what they are. Because if not our little ones pay the price.